Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Week #1
Community Group Video and Discussion Questions
Introduction (3 minutes)
Emotional health and spiritual maturity cannot be separated. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. When we ignore the emotional component of our lives, we move through the motions of Christian disciplines, activities, and behaviors, but deeply rooted behavioral patterns from our pasts continue to hinder us from an authentic life of maturity in Christ.
We often neglect to reflect on what is going on inside us and around us (emotional health) and are too busy to slow down to be with God (contemplative spirituality). As a result, we run the high risk of remaining stuck as spiritual infants, failing to develop into spiritually/emotionally mature adults in Christ. Jay, one of our church members, described it best: “I was a Christian for twenty-two years. But instead of being a twenty-two-year-old Christian, I was a one-year-old Christian twenty-two times! I just kept doing the same things over and over and over again.”
Growing Connected (10 minutes)
1. Share your name and a few words about what makes you feel fully alive (e.g., nature, music, sports, reading).
VIDEO: The Problem of Emotionally Unhealthy Spirituality (19 minutes) Watch the video segment for Session 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjIVQU8852s&list=PL2JLp4amqPEi8Mu2zYJpCIG4Yfdj46gMr&index=1&t=59s
Group Discussion (45 minutes)
Starters (10 minutes)
2. The following are the top ten symptoms of emotionally unhealthy spirituality. As the list that begins below is read aloud, put a check mark next to the one or two symptoms that are most relevant in your life today. Afterward, turn to another person and each share the one symptom that most applies to your spiritual life today.
1. Using God to run from God
(Example: I fill my life with Christian activities to avoid addressing difficult issues in my life.)
2. Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness, and fear
(Example: I am rarely honest with myself and/or others about the feelings, hurts, and pains beneath the surface of my life.)
3. Dying to the wrong things
(Example: I tend to deny healthy, God-given desires and pleasures of life such as friendships, joy, music, beauty, laughter, and nature.
At the same time, I find it difficult to die to my self-protectiveness, defensiveness, lack of vulnerability, and judgmentalism.)
4. Denying the past's impact on the present
(Example: I rarely consider how my family of origin and significant people/events from my past have shaped my present.)
5. Dividing life into “secular” and “sacred” compartments
(Example: I easily compartmentalize God to “Christian activities” while usually forgetting about him when I am working, shopping, studying, or recreating.)
6. Doing for God instead of being with God
(Example: I tend to evaluate my spirituality based on how much I am doing for God.)
7. Spiritualizing away conflict
(Example: I usually miss out on true peace by smoothing over disagreements, burying tensions, and avoiding conflict, rather than disrupting false peace as Jesus did.)
8. Covering over brokenness, weakness, and failure
(Example: I have a hard time speaking freely about my weaknesses, failures, and mistakes.)
9. Living without limits
(Example: Those close to me would say that I often “try to do it all” or “bite off more than I can chew.”)
10. Judging the spiritual journeys of others
(Example: I often find myself occupied and bothered by the faults of those around me.)
Bible Study: 1 Samuel 15:7–24 (35 minutes) In this story we meet King Saul, the first king of Israel, and Samuel, God's prophet who brings God's word to Saul. King Saul had been instructed by God earlier in verse 3 to “attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them.” (Note: The Amalekites were a wicked, sinful culture known for their destructiveness). Saul, however, gives in to the wishes of his fighting men and does only part of God's will. Read aloud 1 Samuel 15:7–24.
3. In verse 11, what do you notice about God and Samuel's responses to Saul's failure to fully obey? How does this differ from Saul's response in verses 12–13?
4. Reread verses 12 and 24. What might have been going on beneath the surface of Saul's life (iceberg) that he was unaware of?
5. Reread verses 22–23. Describe in your own words how Samuel explains Saul's disobedience.
6. List one or two examples of how you go through the motions of making “burnt offerings” and “sacrifices” rather than obeying the word of the Lord (e.g., acting or speaking from fear of what others think, or being one person at church and another person at work or home, or not having a place in your life to be still and listen to the Lord)?
7. Note the seriousness of verse 23a. What positive step(s) could Saul have taken to become aware of his own iceberg and hear God in his situation? What might be one positive step for you? In what ways can you relate, or not relate, to Saul?
Application (15 minutes) After the following paragraphs and questions 8 and 9 are read aloud, take 5 minutes to journal your response to those questions in the space provided. Then share your response to question 10 in groups of two or three. Not only was Saul unaware of what was going on inside of him, he also did not cultivate a contemplative life with God. His “doing” for God did not flow from his “being” with God. In the same way, our “doing” for Jesus must flow from our “being” with him. Far too often, we live vicariously off other people's spirituality and relate to God while busily “on the run.”
8. What challenges keep you from slowing down your life to be with God?
9. The diagram below provides an illustration of a spiritual life where our activity (i.e., our doing) is out of balance with our contemplative life (i.e., our inner life with Jesus). Now, using two circles like the ones in the diagram, draw your own diagram to illustrate how your activities (your doing) balance with your contemplative life (your being with God).
10. The remaining sessions of The EH Spirituality Course will address ways we can make changes in our lives. At this point, what might be one or two simple steps you can take toward beginning to slow down your life and balance your two circles?
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