Finishing Well
I was struck by the simple concept that I haven’t been planning the activities and goals of my life in light of the last day. I've approached decision making in only an immediate results way with very little attention given to the meta-narrative of my whole life, not just the next few years but from now until the day God calls me home.
I shouldn't be, but I'm always shocked to hear the stories of pastors who have disqualified themselves or burnt out because of the pressures of ministry, the temptations of sin, and the stress of leadership. Scott Thomas’ stories about Acts 29 pastors who had taken their own lives and destroyed their families and churches were particularly sobering and a dramatic reminder that we’re not just playing "church."
I've found that the first step an integrating a passion to finish well with what God has called me to and entrusted me with, is to sit under the gravity and weightiness of the cosmic battle for the souls of every living being that each of us, aware or unaware, are currently involved in. This realization of spiritual war brings a necessity to planning, a quickness in fighting sin, and some steel in the spine to endure the spiritual, physical, and emotional onslaught and battle-fatigue.
While it may sound morbid to some, contemplating my death helps me to remember my calling, gives me focus, and helps me eliminate every unnecessary preoccupation. I've found myself on occasion walking through graveyards examining the headstones and contemplating how to summarize a whole life in only a sentence or two. The thought of what will be written on my gravestone helps motivate me to finish well by planning and accepting counsel to avoid burnout and disqualification. By God's grace he can draw straight lines with broken pencils like my sinful, foolish, rebellious self.
Remembering the weightiness of the comic battle we fight in, contemplating my death, planning for the last day, and praying, are all ways I prepare to finish well. Prayer must coat and cover all our actions, plans, and strategies because apart from Christ we can do no good thing. By God's grace, through prayer, he will give me the passion to endurance, fight sin, love holiness, and repent, repent, and repent. The goal is a "boring" testimony. I'm still haunted by my Dad's words to me during a conversation about theology sometime ago in which he said, "well, you're still young, you won't always feel that way." While I hope and pray my sinful proclivities, willful ignorance, and youthful foolishness don't always characterize me, I plead with God in prayer that he would keep me faithful to the calling he's put on my life, keep me passionate about his renown, help me to endure in temptation, and persevere my life until I drop and go to the prize!
